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About this Journal
look!
its me, myself and irene...
well not really.... irene has nothing to do with this but whatever... lol! :)
anyway.... all i know is ive got great friends a beautiful boyfriend and an awesome band! what more do i need in life...? hahaha! a lot... and apparently i complain about not having it a lot but if i really step back and look at it all i have shit loads more than half the world so i guess thats cool! :)
life is good and i am young so everythings good!
i love you james babe!
hey you....you know who!
peace out y'all!
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Sep. 24th, 2006 @ 04:27 pm *brain wave*
Current Mood: crushedcrushed
i cant handle this and of it its just driving me crazy i dont know what to do or how to react to all this i wish i could just say everything that i am feeling but i just cant and apparently you cant either i dont know what do i just dont want to do this anymore i dont want to be here anymore i dont want to keep it going like this because its just killing the both of us why cant we just talk about it and try and work it out i know we will because we always do but im just affraid this time even more than i have been before i dont know what to do or what i am doing i think that i just need to stop to quit life to stop all of it its just killing me faster i love you and i need to talk to you
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prom night
Sep. 24th, 2006 @ 03:53 pm i love you
Current Mood: crushedcrushed
reality has finally kicked me square int he face and i dont know what to do.... i dont wanna do this anymore...
i dont wanna hurt anyone.... including myself... but i think i already have and i cant do anything abotu it.... its in the past... i cant change the past but i wish i could
i wish that i wasnt here right now i wish that i was there talking to you about this rather than you having to read my mind.....
i wish i could read minds
so then i would know what you were thinking and how you felt about all this.... i wish i could have read minds earlier.... in the past.... when it would have made a difference....
i dont know what to do now... its up to you.... where do we go from here.... i need you i want you but this isnt going to work if we cant talk to each other.... comunication and trust.... the biggest things in this.... thats what makes love.... thats what makes us...i wish i wasnt at my grandmas right now and i could talk to you about it.... i lov eoyu and i would do anything for you....anything....
think about it as will i.... i'll be back home to talk to you later tonihgt love
i love you so much
talk to you later
i love you
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prom night
Sep. 22nd, 2006 @ 09:52 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: crazycrazy
Current Music: ozzy osbourne~crazy train
wow... ireally havent post or have had time to post in a really long time....
not that i have anything worth posting
just yea
nvm
im going to james' tomorrow!
im so excited!
i havent spent much time with him lately just him and i
i miss our time
i cant wait for tomorrow
i love him so much
and i cant wait!
and at some point tomorrow im supposed to be going 4wheeling too!
with brian
who lives right down the road from james so yea
that should be fun cause i love fourwheeling and i havent been in forever!
and i love music!
lol
random
and i need my meds
im going crazy!
damn doctors and pharmasists!
lol
jk
i love you guys!
lol
not
weird!
anyway......!
i wish it was saturday....
and i was at james' house already!
geez time loves to crawl these days
homecoming is next week!
wooooo!
i cant wait!
we have so many difficult games this coming week
monday wednesday and friday!
monday and friday are home... you better be ther support us!
we're 3-1 in league
and were not too shabby i think
we have a game tomorrow
and its an early one
so i should prolly go to bed soon ish
lol
not like im doing anything right now
so why not
lol
anyway!
im out
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prom night
Sep. 16th, 2006 @ 10:03 pm (no subject)
wow.... i feel like i havent posted or read any other posts or anything in a month....!
so today was loads of fun with my two bestest friends.... james and alex!
games all day!
girls lost this morning....
football lost right after that.... it was pretty bad...
then i hung out with my love for a while til he left for odesa to go to his game
which i just got back from
they lost
it sucked
but it was a good game
so yea
and we lost our sectional game monday against union springs
won our game at romo on wednesday and won our game last night against pen yan!
so now we are 2-0 in the league
:)
yay!
go volleyball '06!
so excited
but now im pissed because my mom is fucking freaking out and yelling and swearing at me and being a total bitch cause thats the cool thing to do and i wish james was online right now so that i could talk to him before i retreat to my room and not come back because my parents are assholes nad i really kinda wanna move out....
hey alex.... is that offer still up for your house?! hehe... jk
but seriously i need to leave this fucking house and get out on my own because cant stand much more of this shit from them
its either... move out, hit them, or suicide.... and moving out sounds like the best answer right now....
*deep breath*
aslkjhdg'oaihgkba'osirhga;knbfg;jha
ok.... im gonna go because james isnt ona nd mom is freaking otu and yea.... this is killing me!
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!
fuck you i fucking hate you and you make me wanna die!
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pissed baby
Sep. 12th, 2006 @ 07:21 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: exhaustedexhausted
Current Music: RENT
TIRED!
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5 course love
Sep. 11th, 2006 @ 10:12 pm (no subject)
god!!!!
volleyball fuckinf suxs the penis!
wtf!
i hate coach!
she needs to fucking die!
and i need to fucking.... GUH!!!!!!!!!!!
nvfm!!!!!!!!!
i hate this!!!!!!
i need a vacation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
or just a life that might work too...
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prom night
Sep. 6th, 2006 @ 07:11 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: numbnumb
Current Music: pink something or other
guh i cant even focus right now...
i need to talk to him...
james sam chris brian justin eric someone... a male figure
guh
i need to talk to anyone actually
oh russell i'll tlak to him
if i can focus long enough
i cant even focus to read ppls journals
guh
this sux!
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prom night
Sep. 6th, 2006 @ 06:58 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: exhaustedexhausted
Current Music: pink somethin or other....
wow
so today
the first day of school
was boring as hell
and sad
i have boring classes so far
and none with my love
like i did last yr
i dont even see him in the halls
or have a lunch with him
like last yr
i hope he can join chorus
but i think hes right
there is only one enviromental class
so he cant change
*cry*
plus i have class with some really dumb ppl
actually
first block is ok
i have it with alex court kristen and chris
so its good i guess
but we did a lab the very first thing
it was crazy
we have to write them out ourselves
with is hard
and confusing
and i dont know how
and i'll prolly fail this shit
i suck at it so much
plus having no real instructions is difficult
but hey
thats life
this is walgrian...
lmao
oh and quote of the day by kasey lavarnway....
"im gonna rip out my eyeball and throw it at his head!"
said that in american
because pouslon is a fucking idiot
anyway
i have homework to do and yea
i wish there was someone online to talk to right now
but of course no one is on
or they are all doing home work so yea
i miss james
i saw hiim for like a total of ten minutes today
maybe fifteen
idk
all i know is that is not enough
its hard enough as it is
guh!
my arms hurt
my hands hurt
my legs hurt
my knee and ankle hurt
im just fallin appart right now
thats what school does to me
yuckky!
i wish i could have stopped at kindergarden
i learned all i needed in kindergarden
how to color
sleep
and talk to ppl
its all undercontrol
why bother going for 12 more years?
lol
oh and there are lots of new ppl
as usual
and a new rule that we cant be at the school until practice or in the cafe
and i wanted to go to roberts but wasnt invited so whatever
i prolly wouldnt have been back in time for practice anyway
oh and we have our first home game monday at 5:30-6:00
in the ovid high school big gym
i expect to see you all there!
lol
yea
riiiight
anyway...
i got hsit to do so yea....
later days i guess
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opening night
Sep. 3rd, 2006 @ 02:20 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: ditzyditzy
the scrimmage yesterday went pretty damn good if you ask me.... we won 4 lost 4 but didnt make it to finals but thats ok because it was pretty much like a practice/get useed to our rotation day.... but it was good i guess.... boring as hell when we wernt on playing but fun otherwise... then afterwards alexandria and i rode to waterloo with Mrs.penessa aka jim hogan's mom to watcht he guys soccar game.... whihc by the way... they WON! 2 to 4 against waterloo! which was awesome being the fact that it was about 30 defrees out and raining and frecking cold and all hell! but it was fun watching them play but it was a hell of a game.... we didnt get home til about 7 30 and alex and i were both froze to the bone! then we hung out for a few hours and warmed up and ate dinner and it was nice to hang out with my bestest friend! hehe! her and danny are coming over agian tonight to spend the night because her dad is taking karen back to canada and all it should be fun.... she actually should be here soon so hmmm...? and i think that james might be coming over.... for dinner and to hangout tonight too! im excited i cant wait i love him so much! hehe! anyway.... i got the cd that alana sent me from one of the guys she is going to school with.... i absolutely love it! its Soundfall from ithaca.... what a coincidence that they are going to school together! hehe! :) i really love the cd and am so glad she sent it to me... i wonder if i owe her any money for it? hmmmmm? i dont really know... lol and ya know what pisses me off....! sam still didnt give me that fucking music! i need that music and i saw him this morning in church... why the hell didnt he give them to me! damn it! oh well i call him and have him bring it over for me.... hmmmmmm...? yea.... anyway....hmmm... later days and all!!!! :)
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prom night
Sep. 2nd, 2006 @ 07:32 am kick ass sscs! wooooo!
tournament!~~~ today~~~ ovid big gym~~ 8:30 to whenever were done!
better see you there
love ya!
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prom night